practice what you preach

i feel like my post from yesterday was reductive and vague, if not, suggestive. 


it was reductive in the sense that i could have been poking fun at the healing movement, which was not my intention.


many illnesses have surfaced over the last year. 


some of them have been freak, spontaneous complications of our normal functioning.

some of them have been persistent symptoms that contract a different diagnosis from a slew of practitioners.

while others are emotional wounds surfacing as physical ailments in order to be addressed.  



i do not want to ignore the very real obstacles that are plaguing people’s stability nor criticize the healing arts that have brought people comfort and relief. 


my heart goes out to all the people who are suffering from surreptitious health invaders that have hijacked your sense of normalcy. 


i have friends grappling with such diagnoses that have completely altered the way they lead the most rudimentary moments of their lives; from how they eat to where they can get their food to what their bodies have to let go of in order to completely renew themselves. 


the reason what i said was vague was because 

i didn’t share my own story and provide more insight into my stance. 


LOOSE ENDS is the first leg of my journey where i was exposed to the spectrum of trauma, ultimately realizing that no one was going to heal the trauma i experienced upon my behalf. 


the evidence with which i make the statements about receiving reiki or astrological guidance initially comes from my inability to afford such luxuries, and, ultimately, evolves into dissatisfying experiences during the rare moments when i did seek alternative forms of help. 


my lack of money was a source of resentment for a long time. 



i was brought back to that feeling of seven years of life without a safety net today, by a friend. 


yet, somehow, seven years later, i am writing upon the internet without the financial security of product placement.




it would take 3 books to explain that.


which is why i was being reductive yesterday. 


because it would take the time and capacity that neither instagram, nor the personal time we attribute to instagram, can lend us. 


it will take LOOSE ENDS + the next two books in the series to conceptualize the entirety of being; the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual. to show how they cannot be isolated. to show how reducing ourselves to one word, one label, one action, such as healer or depressed, mother or daughter, rich or poor does not tell a story. 


a paragraph full of sentences, presuming facts as truths, are not words to live by if there isn’t any evidence. 


that is why we need our stories now more than ever.