free your heart
the amount of processes we all undergo on a daily basis is astounding. the race against time to accomplish as many things as possible is inherently angst producing. so, then, imagine that angst (sans any future promise of a reprieve) slowly building upon itself until it reaches such a brooding size that it pops.
the wreckage of our lives floats around us; our childhoods, our traumas, our heartbreaks, our worries, our despair, our unrealized dreams… the truth.
the truth is revealed when that which we have ignored for so long will no longer accept silence.
the revolt of the soul.
to be heard. to be realized. to be healed.
there is so much i don’t understand; yet, simultaneously, so much i feel.
i feel the tug of the collective to culturally uphold standards that they can feel slipping through their fingers out of irrelevance.
no one wants to continue working 70 hour weeks…but, what will we do if we don’t do that?
what will happen to us if we stop moving?
what will happen if we have nothing to show?
how intimately i feel these questions; they were once my own.
i felt the need to prove my worth to the world. to have a result of my existence.
even my 94-year-old grandmother on her death bed said the same thing to me: “I’ve had a shitty life. I’ve done nothing with my life.”
it pricked my soul.
she had forgotten all the love she gave people. all the support she offered through her listening ear and her open heart.
our society does not value these characteristics because they don’t have a monetary value.
the heart is free from standardized control.
but, no one has taught us what that means.
to free our hearts.
like any other transformative process i’ve discussed, everything begins with our intention to change ourselves.
if we want to change, and we say so, the universe will immediately put us on that path. and we will become so disoriented because we forgot that one innocent confession we made to ourselves behind closed doors… who knew our thoughts had that much power… they say they do, but, then, why can’t I change the way I feel when I’m feeling shitty? why can’t i step out of my loop of negative self talk? why don’t i have any money when i keep saying “i’m abundant” to myself?
well, that’s the loophole modern spirituality glosses over. the black hole of self-realization when you are doing what other spiritual followers tell you without any results…
some of them do talk about a process existing, but no one puts a time frame on it… because… everyone has their own journey to understanding who they are and how they operate.
no one’s journey is the same.
it reads so simply…
for me to suffice to say that the pain you’re feeling can be justified by a single claim…
but, the pain is the growth.
recognizing our pain is how we heal.
rehabilitating from any physical injury is painful… and a process..
and freeing the heart is the same.
we are giving ourselves love by acknowledging our pain. the negativity and judgement we hold around why we don’t feel good and why isn’t it happening faster comes from years of conditioning beliefs that have poisoned every bit of content and perspective we ingest. we were taught to compare who we are to others in order to deduce our own value.
and that flaw is the precise mechanism of our culture’s design. they want us to think something is wrong with us so we will spend money looking for that missing link. when that missing link is our heart. the intimate relationship we have with our hearts…
it is that simple.
the hard part is the discipline to listen to our hearts.
to stop moving.
to be willing to surrender all pain at the feet of our inner desire to get better. our inner inkling that there is something more than what we are experiencing now.
and, there is.
Untapped potential lies within each of our hearts to heal ourselves.
we are healers. we are magicians. we are inventors. we are artists.
all of us.
but, we deny ourselves such titles because we have been separated from our heart’s flow by way of the world. by keeping up. by maintaining. by fitting in. by surviving.
so, if we want to change, it’s all there inside of us waiting to be unleashed.
and, if you are currently amidst a shit storm, that’s how you know that you’re letting go of all you once believed to be true in order to realize the truth of your heart.
that it is love.
that pain is not the same as suffering.
that joy is born from pain.
that pain is not negative.
that pain is a part of the process of development.
that we do not remember our births because of how painful they must have been to emerge into this raw spectrum of human emotion from blissful radiant light.
we are here to experience all of this: the separation, the healing, and the reemergence into union, the confusion into enlightenment, the challenge of changing our behaviors, of getting better, of becoming who we are and throwing away the masks of who people told us we should be.
freedom lies within the heart.